Audiophiles

This is the best self-parody by an audiophile ever. A $200 mat which sits on the spinning CD in your machine and reveals an “entirely new emotional component”, allowing you “to feel the heart that motivates their singing”. Read this:

After listening to both vocalists, I asked if we could replay the tracks using the Signature 3-D Mat. The difference was startling. All of a sudden, voices and instruments transformed from flat, mono-dimensional presentations to rounded sonic images that bore a far greater resemblance to the real thing. You could feel the presence of the drum, the roundness of the strings, and the different layers of undertones and overtones that comprise the human voice.

Equally striking was the additional air and depth. Voice and instruments were now realistically separated, resonating in different acoustic planes rather than sounding crammed together in mono-dimensional space. Where before the voice had seemed somewhat dryly miked, it now sounded like it was recorded in a naturally resonant space. And where sonic images had hung in space as though they were lovely pictures on a wall, they now seemed to live in the space between and around the speakers.

… and somehow find the strength to hold in your scream of it's a fucking mat, you delusional idiot!

Some people really, really need to think, just a little. And maybe read how digital audio encoding works.

Posted at 2005-11-19 22:49:46 by Richard • Link to Audiophiles
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Blogs and people

From The River:

They'll find it eventually. The thing of it is, part of me wants them to find it. I want them to read the parts that pertain to them, because in my experience, that's all people really care about. How much they affect the life of another. I want them to read it and see what I really think of them. But then I don't because I know it will be a giant hassle.

Posted at 2005-11-19 20:17:48 by Richard • Link to Blogs and people
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Fever Dream

How strange… sitting alone at the kitchen table, a morning coffee with the cats, sorting through the week's photographs, and Fever Dream by Iron & Wine is somehow the perfect accompaniment to so many stories, despite having nothing to do with them.

Some days her shape in the doorway
Will speak to me
A bird's wing on the window
Sometimes I'll hear when she's sleeping
Her fever dream
A language on her face

I want your flowers like babies want God's love
Or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come

Some days, like rain on the doorstep
She'll cover me
With grace in all she offers
Sometimes I'd like just to ask her
What honest words
She can't afford to say, like

I want your flowers like babies want God's love
Or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come

I want your flowers
like babies want God's love
or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come

Posted at 2005-11-19 10:44:38 by Richard • Link to Fever Dream
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Edward 40-hands

I'm not sure if it marks me out as an alcoholic or not, but I found Edward 40-hands to be trivially easy. Admittedly, I only drank MGD, not malt liquor, but I polished off my two 40s in a mere 29 minutes before moving on to the gin — no toilet break needed. Much carnage occurred around me, but I had a memorable evening in good company. Thank you, one and all.

Posted at 2005-11-19 01:30:21 by Richard • Link to Edward 40-hands
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