Audiophiles

This is the best self-parody by an audiophile ever. A $200 mat which sits on the spinning CD in your machine and reveals an “entirely new emotional component”, allowing you “to feel the heart that motivates their singing”. Read this:

After listening to both vocalists, I asked if we could replay the tracks using the Signature 3-D Mat. The difference was startling. All of a sudden, voices and instruments transformed from flat, mono-dimensional presentations to rounded sonic images that bore a far greater resemblance to the real thing. You could feel the presence of the drum, the roundness of the strings, and the different layers of undertones and overtones that comprise the human voice.

Equally striking was the additional air and depth. Voice and instruments were now realistically separated, resonating in different acoustic planes rather than sounding crammed together in mono-dimensional space. Where before the voice had seemed somewhat dryly miked, it now sounded like it was recorded in a naturally resonant space. And where sonic images had hung in space as though they were lovely pictures on a wall, they now seemed to live in the space between and around the speakers.

… and somehow find the strength to hold in your scream of it's a fucking mat, you delusional idiot!

Some people really, really need to think, just a little. And maybe read how digital audio encoding works.

Posted at 2005-11-19 22:49:46 by Richard • Link to Audiophiles
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